Hey y’all!! I thought it was about time for a Little Red House Reno update, since I started strong on this blog excited about the project. I’m beginning to feel like the little engine that could, as he putters up the hill toward the peak, struggling and unsure if he will make it or not.
We have officially fired our contractor! I’ve bee singing “Ding dong, the wicked contractor’s dead, but not really dead. Wake up – sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. The wicked contractor’s deeaaad!” I know, it doesn’t really flow like the original, nevertheless, I keep singing it in my brain. As relieved as we are to be free from buildPros (our original contractor) and free from being lied to and lead on, aimlessly in the direction of nothing accomplished in our renovation, we are still without a home, and without an end in sight. The process to end our contract with buildPros took some time, and the process to get started with a new contractor will take some time as well. It seems unfair that our contractor gets to go along with his life, detached from our home and our project, skipping about his merry way; while we are left in the same position we’ve been in for that last 6 months. I pray, and I ask you to pray (if you’re the praying type) that our new selected contractor will be a professional of his word, concerned with quality of work, timelines, honesty, and consideration for his clients.
Just as a refresher…we are still here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…
Totally unbelievable!!…I know!
A couple days ago, buildPros came and cleaned up all the debris, took their tools, and hauled away the topped off dumpster. Seeing the driveway clear of all that sitting, lingering junk lifted my spirits in a small way. It seemed like the slate was wiped clean to start again. I hope starting again means finishing as well…preferably before Jaxon chooses a college. 😉
But man, when things don’t happen on my timetable or as expected, my vision of the world around me seems to darken with a low, looming gray cloud, shadowing over every other area of my life as well. My fickle tendencies are tremendously annoying and translate to an unbalanced, unpredictable reality. They only serve to compound that human quality we all have of never being satisfied, never having enough. When things are good, going the way I think they should go, I’m flying high…”God is SO good! Praise God!” But the instant trouble arises or a plan or dream is rearranged or erased altogether, I tend to first sink to the level of the raw emotion…”What the heck God?! This was not the plan!”
Isaiah 55:8-9: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I really need to work on stabilizing my life by anchoring myself in the word and the full belief in what God has planned for me. I’ve considered that He could be doing some necessary, amazing work that is incalculable to Josh and I. Who knows, but God, what that could mean? Something related to our marriage, our family, or individually…the list could go on! Sometimes I wish He would send a message from the spirit in email form or a text message, or even a carrier pigeon!! The note would read, in plain English:
“Just an FYI, the reason X,Y, or Z stinks right now is because I’m helping to make your marriage stronger, and you don’t even know it. Love always, God, I Am, The Almighty, Creator, Heavenly Father…you get the idea.”
Buuuuuut…since we all know there’s a good chance, a carrier pigeon named Swifty, with a handwritten note from God isn’t going to swoop down and drop it at my feet, I HAVE TO take each step by faith, with the word as my guide book.
“As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
ALL of this is transient or temporary. Maybe if I remind myself that this ‘stuff’ with the house and the kids and our time here in this life are temporary, it will give me a clearer vision of all the ways God is working in my life, even through the ‘stinky’ parts (as I see them). Perhaps this will give me freedom to focus more on the present joy, the present blessings, and the unending presence of Him in my life.
Til’ next time, be blessed!
Please re-post and share! I’d love for you to follow us on Smalltownology too!
Thank you so much for reading!! 🙂